I have decided to try a Facebook detox and have deactivated my account. Facebook didn't let me go easily - they gave me a list of reasons to choose from to explain why I am leaving them, then I got pop ups for alternatives e.g. 'are you sure - thought about logging out instead?' to prevent me from taking this radical option. Not even that radical really, as the account is still there, it's just 'temporarily inactivated' and I can go back any time by just logging back in. So a bit of a cop out. Deleting my account would be putting my money where my mouth is.
So why detox? I admit I have FB to thank for some great experiences I would not have had otherwise. It can be been educational, hilarious, and, to a limit, great for keeping long (and short) distance family and friends up to date and be kept up to date on what others are doing.
It was useful for getting feedback and advice, and it has been very enjoyable sharing things like photographs on group pages of interest, and having the opportunity to meet like-minded people. (This is what I will miss the most). I also think it has it's uses for people who are promoting a business or interests.
BUUUUUT.
It also annoys the shit out of me. It can sculpt people into attention seeking narcissists without them even realizing it, and when I read some of my posts I can see I'm guilty of being one of those people.
'Fakebook' is more about self promotion, ego pampering and time wasting than it is about confidence building, self esteem and genuine friendships.
Ooh... I wonder how many likes this post will get...
Yep, no more 'likes' for or from me for a while. I did try not to like things for the sake of it, and mostly 'did it' for posts I thought worthy. Hang on, be honest here - did I cave in under the social pressure of liking a post only because I thought it would make the other person feel better? Did I like a post because everyone else was liking it? Did I like a post to make myself feel better, like those muppets who send their 'thoughts and prayers'? Yep. Guilty. Was my like even noticed? Or was it more noticeable when it was absent?
Damn those 'likes' and the emphasis it puts on what others think about us.
Sure, Facebook is what you make of it and yes, I have a choice and can scroll on past things that annoy me. But realistically FB is extremely hard to filter. And anyway, part of the detox is about not being on the phone so much.
So to all my real Facebook friends reading this (lmao - you don't even know this blog exists) please don't take it personally - I do really value your friendships. i'm not divorcing you. I just resent the way I let my life revolve around FB at an ever increasing rate, and I need to put the breaks on.
It will be interesting to see how long I last and what I miss about the drug that FB can be. Will my social life and attitude change? Will I become a different person? How will I know what people are up to? Does it matter? I'm sure I'll find out the important things regardless.
I am looking forward to living more in the present, and not constantly checking, searching and seeking. My friends have my phone number. In fact three of my besties are FB free. They also appear to be functioning fine as confident adults with a very healthy social life.
I will give a progress update later. Below are two great articles which I will post in my blog - you will find me reading them in moments of weakness.
7 Ways to Be Insufferable on Facebook
The Dangers of Image Crafting